we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
