I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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