so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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