3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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