So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
