i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
These tits shall not be calmed
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