Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
