ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
