Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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