i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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