apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
