I'm lost and stupid without you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
