omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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