i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
