rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she pinky promised me she was 18
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
