Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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