he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
