I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
