I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
