im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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