I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
