no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
