It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
