Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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