If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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