so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
