I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
