She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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