Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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