you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
