whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
