I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
one might say we're banned from that church
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
