Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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