Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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