whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
