You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
