i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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