I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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