there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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