Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
