You can't motorboat a personality
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you traded sex for a burrito?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
