You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
