so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
