He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
