What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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