'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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