Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
