Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
