do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
