you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
A bitchslap is in order.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
