it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
