she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
